Divorce

Before the 70’s the only divorce allowed was for abuse, addiction and adultery. Then during the 70’s there became this thing called a “no-fault” divorce. This is when a couple just no longer wants to work on their marriage and there is no “bad guy”. This makes it more difficult for children and the whole custody thing a whole lot more difficult. Some reasons for divorce for the modern time is now there is no need for economic support, independence, empowerment, reliance on family of origin, prenuptial agreements, and so forth. There are five different types of divorce that take place within a single divorce. The first is emotional divorce. This is when the couple realizes that they have no emotional attachment towards one another. The second type of divorce is the legal divorce. This is where the couple goes to court and they have to reason with a judge that they should no longer be married. The third type of divorce is the economic divorce. This is where all the stuff separates and the “who gets what” game begins. Some problems with this, especially poorer couples may not be able to afford two cars or two homes. But since they are not able to work it out, it will have to decided who gets these things. These would be very hard choices to make. The fourth type of divorce is the co-parenting divorce. There are two parts within this category. The first being legal custody and the second is physical custody. Legal custody is typically given to the parent who isn’t the “bad guy” but with the new trend of “no-fault” divorces, this legal custody battle can become very emotional and extremely painful for many families. Typically in these types of situations the children spend the most time with their mother and they have to go to the father’s home at designated times during the week either with weekends or other arrangements. The physical custody is whoever is caring for the child at the present time. The last type of divorce is community divorce. Before the divorce, the couple may have had friends and a sense of belonging with a certain community and then when one moves out of the house, they lose that community. They also may feel that they are being judged by their old peers and then no longer have a sense of belonging with those people.

Some problems with divorce is that it is expensive, custody problems, and other related problems. Something that was said in class was “you can get divorced, but you can’t get unmarried.” I thought that was interesting because it is so true. You can’t move very far away from your ex-spouse because of custody issues, if there are children involved. A lot of women want to move closer to their families after a divorce but cannot because of this problem. Also getting a divorce is very expensive. The statistics for the average divorce costs $125,000 in the first five years. Getting couples counseling is a lot cheaper than getting a divorce. When you have a divorce there then becomes a need for there to be two homes, two cars, more furniture for the two houses. The list can go on and on. In California one of their policies is to slow the process way down so that less people get divorced because it becomes more of a hassle. They also must live with their economic decisions for six months before the divorce is final. But in some states, like Idaho for example, it is extremely easy for a couple to get a divorce. All that needs to be done is to go to city hall.